So this one needs a disclaimer:
To those guy friends no matter how hard for us women to see you as only friends we(well I) value your relationships one hundred percent!
As a little kid, and even now, I used to chase the guys around. You could find me at any point chasing, teasing and terrorizing the guys in my life. Now in my life it is more the teasing.
I tend to be one of those girls with lots of guy friends, my buddies, where would I be without them. Well that is where this thought came from. Where would I be without the attention of men in my life. I love the attention enough that I am willing to lie to myself that I'm not bummed when someone isn't interested in me romantically cause, I would rather have some attention than none at all. This problem with going into friendships with the intention of just being friends, even though I play it off (or think I do) as just whatever, is it is really tough. I admit it I have a heart that desires to be loved by someone. The funniest part is when I say stuff like that I realize, "I am loved!" What is it that causes me to devalue the friendships that I have, to pursue romance, to CHASE after the next "10" on my list?
It would be so easy to put this off on culture..."romantic porn" you know those cheesy "rom coms" we watch and torture ourselves through. Or it could be that "oh so many of my friends are dating/getting married." Then there's the "well I'm bored so dating would spice up my life." (Writing these down is fairly humbling, I feel kind of silly knowing that I've entertained all of these excuses). So to get to my point why do I chase after romantic relationships?
It's this thing called a hole! I have one and I think most of us do. It's this hole that we try to fill to make us whole. Depending on the season I attempt to fill it with different things, but the most consistent for me is guys, just male attention in general. Well lately, over my life actually, I have realized each time I try to figure this out, that there really is only one thing that fills that hole that makes me feel complete. That hole is filled with my relationship with Jesus. He is the one never changing never leaving part of my life. When I look over my life and see patches of complete contentment the only constant is Him. This is not to say that I desire to spend my life single and without a companion. But what I do desire is that no matter who my companion be or where I'm at in life that I would not allow anyone but Jesus to have that place that fills that hole. I want to be a complete person with and with out a significant other in my life. I want to be able to live life to the fullest no matter what my relationship status may be. I want to quit chasing romance and start living a life that is full, and when romance comes my way I want it to be the cherry on top of a wonderful, fulfilling life.
So I guess to end this what is that thing that you chase? How does it get in the way of pursuing a relationship with Jesus of spending time being content with wherever life has you? For me it's not spending time allowing myself to know how much God loves me, and how much He shows me that through the people around me. I think it's awesome to just sit back and look at life from the outside and see it's beauty and not be caught in the immediate. But at the same time to be fully present in the moments around us!
