Running is a part of my life, and definitely part of my genes. I try to get away from it and always come back to this solo and inspiring sport. So as one would guess I learn and understand quite a bit while running. This post was inspired while running a half marathon.
I had run this race before and had known how humbling it was so being knocked down a few notches running this quite challenging race wasn't a surprise. What was learned from this race is the question I plan to answer. I chose to run this race with my dad, it's something we do now, torture ourselves in distance road races...don't ask why, weird therapy I guess. Anyway so my original goal in the race was to keep up with my dad, then to keep up or beat my friend (Rob) who ran the race with an athlete in tandem (pushing a athlete who is unable to run in a wheelchair of sorts). As per my usual I didn't train well for this race, no hill or speed training, just a few longer runs here and there. The course has a hill on it known as "Monster Hill" or "Golgotha" for it's grueling incline. That being said, for one to do well they should train. So I put myself in a great place to learn a little humility, especially because I have quite the mouth and will trash talk a little bit.
I started the race out keeping up with my dad, for approximately 2 minutes, he then took off and my thought was well I can maybe keep up. I quickly realized that was a pipe dream and chose to focus on my own pace and enjoy the race. I finished the first and second hill and was passed by one of Rob's teammates with an athlete in tandem, I was taken aback grateful however that it wasn't Rob (my competitive spirit came out). This is when my brain started processing some ideas. I was then passed by another athlete team, at this point one word kept running through my head, GRATEFUL. What it meant I wasn't far from understanding.
Around mile 5 and about to climb hill number 3, I began to feel my lack of training, my feet began throbbing. My immediate thought was to pity myself, well you were just so busy helping others achieve there goals you couldn't train and work is really stressful. Then I thought about those who were passing me. My dad with a fulltime job and a family to take care of. Rob, who works fulltime and then was helping a fellow athlete. So I squashed the pity thoughts and continued to run to the best of my ability. Not long after this point I was passed by a runner without arms, I don't know his story but I do know that I use my arms a good amount while running, especially when I haven't trained. So here I am a few minutes before trying to pity myself for not training and I'm passed by an athlete who isn't whole according to traditional standards. More pain kicks in while running down the last hill followed by another runner sans arms. My thought is "really? really?", now realizing that maybe this race was to teach me something.
I'm now running and thinking more. Remembering the need to be grateful for all the little things. So I start small. Well I'm breathing, I think, it's labored breath and not consistent from lack of training but I'm still alive and breathing. Then it's the fact that I do have a body that works and carries me through the miles that I push it through. Followed by thankfulness for the cool breeze keeping me from overheating on this hot day. Now my mind is filled with thoughts of gratefulness for this event. I continue to run, counting the miles hoping to finish soon. I hit the trail, which I consider the hardest part of this race, it's a mind game, over half way there and supposedly downhill, it never seems that easy from that point. I'm dragging beginning to walk some getting passed by more people who I think "I should be beating them!" Again I choose to change my thought pattern and smile.
Then it hits, nearing the 5k left point I hear a familiar voice in the distance, it's Rob with his athlete catching up to me. My heart sinks, well at least my competitive heart does. I push to stay ahead, then it hits me run grateful. Grateful for every step forward! Grateful for the beauty that surrounds me! Grateful for every person I am running with on this day! Rob passes me and doesn't realize it, I slow again to a walk, hoping this race will finish yet somehow still grateful. As I finish the last of the race, I continue to keep this positive attitude of running grateful, I come into the finishline smiling (I hope) and sprinting, knowing that I finished well. I ran grateful! With a better time than the year before but not better then my PR on that race I finished with the best attitude I've ever had. I felt alive inside! I was ready to congratulate my "opponents" on a job well done.
So now as I look back on this race and what I've learned, well it's that really and truely attitude makes the difference. You can't necessarily change the physical circumstances of something but you sure can change your attitude. I hope that in the future I can continue to run grateful!
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