I kept walking by this penny the other day not picking it up. About the 5th time I passed it, I started to think about why I hadn't picked the penny up. Then I realized that the penny was there for a purpose, to help me see a life lesson.
I hadn't picked up the penny because, I felt it had "no" value to me, it was only on cent, so what does that matter? However, that penny combined with other pennies would add up to more value. Then I started wondering, what if it was a collector item? Something with more value. Well I didn't pick up the penny but it taught me some life lessons.
In life people are like pennies, sometimes I take them only at face value. Then I brush past them, valuing them as less worthwhile then I need. So in reality I'm devaluing that person. Like a penny, people have individual worth. Though pennies may not be of much value to me by themselves they add up. Likewise, people with individual worth add up to increasing value when I allow them to be a part of my life, because their value plus mine adds up to more then what I was before I chose to see them as valuable. Unlike the penny I found, which was made of cheap metal, people are all like collectors coins, worth more than what we see at face value.
So from a penny in the dust, I learned a life lesson. Don't pass over the people in front of you.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Taking off the Sandals
The beauty of a once a week Church gathering is that once a week we're reminded that we're in the presence of God. What if we made it a point daily to remember that we are in the presence of God. With that, comes the removal of our shoes. To come into the presence of God we have to remove the dirt that has traveled with us. That dirt is the sin that clings to our imperfect selves. By checking our hearts, similar to taking off the shoes, we remove the sin that makes us dirty. If we did this daily, what freedom would we experience? When this is done regularly it becomes, routine and easy. Then with sin that tries to build into footholds we don't allow it to gain strength. The clarity in our relationship with God grows as we first remove the distractions that fill our hearts.
The Beginning of "Free"
This is a fairly personal post from last summer...
This summer God is working in my heart to show me how much He loves me. For all to long I have been distracted by seeking out my worth and my value in others, always hoping for the day I would find "the one." Not knowing that I was seeking my worth in the wrong place.
So at the beginning of the summer when I started feeling this contentment in my soul, I got a little confused. This was a new feeling for me. I didn't give it much thought until a few people asked me, in that genuine way, "how i was doing?" So my reply was; "content which is new and exciting!" Then during an extended time alone with God, He began to reveal the truth and freedom behind this contentment. That this contentment mean I had this freedom to be pursued and loved more wholly by God.
Then it really came to mind when I was driving and listening to my favorite song, "Free" by The Zac Brown Band. this song had been a theme for my life in hopes of a companion. This time though it hit me that God wants me to feel free to adventure with Him. So my summer's goal is to find freedom and adventure with God as He shows me through the adventure that He loves me.
My first adventure was a run... I love to run and sometimes I talk to God as I run, but today I thought I'll invite God to just love on me and speak to me during my run. He did, He made the wind enjoyable as I could listen to it blow through the tops of the trees and gently brush my face. Then the roar of the creek, who needs music with this sound. The majestic peaks that speak of His greatness. The pristine sky which reminds me how beautiful I am. Then to end and look out over the clear spring fed ponds just enjoying the creation around me. All the whild in my head ringing the words "I was made for this!"
This summer God is working in my heart to show me how much He loves me. For all to long I have been distracted by seeking out my worth and my value in others, always hoping for the day I would find "the one." Not knowing that I was seeking my worth in the wrong place.
So at the beginning of the summer when I started feeling this contentment in my soul, I got a little confused. This was a new feeling for me. I didn't give it much thought until a few people asked me, in that genuine way, "how i was doing?" So my reply was; "content which is new and exciting!" Then during an extended time alone with God, He began to reveal the truth and freedom behind this contentment. That this contentment mean I had this freedom to be pursued and loved more wholly by God.
Then it really came to mind when I was driving and listening to my favorite song, "Free" by The Zac Brown Band. this song had been a theme for my life in hopes of a companion. This time though it hit me that God wants me to feel free to adventure with Him. So my summer's goal is to find freedom and adventure with God as He shows me through the adventure that He loves me.
My first adventure was a run... I love to run and sometimes I talk to God as I run, but today I thought I'll invite God to just love on me and speak to me during my run. He did, He made the wind enjoyable as I could listen to it blow through the tops of the trees and gently brush my face. Then the roar of the creek, who needs music with this sound. The majestic peaks that speak of His greatness. The pristine sky which reminds me how beautiful I am. Then to end and look out over the clear spring fed ponds just enjoying the creation around me. All the whild in my head ringing the words "I was made for this!"
Friday, October 28, 2011
To See What I Saw on Mulberry Street
So first of all I named this post after the book by Dr. Suess. I came up with this one day, while driving down Mulberry St. in Fort Collins and seeing a particularly unusual person. And I have to admit, I of all people am extremely guilty of people watching and this got me thinking. This moment caused me to think of the thought I hold of the people I watch, many times are very judgmental. Since this moment I have tried to think about these people that I observe from a distance with more intrigue then opinion.
As I've been pondering this "dilemma," it has made me think more and more about how we view people from the outside. I find I immediately put titles on people. In 1 Samuel 16:7 God tells Samuel to look at what God sees and that is not what we see on the outside. So when I started seeing someone who was dressed a certain way, or carries them self in a particularly noticeable manner I began to pray for them and ask that I could see them for more then what was on the outside. That I could begin to think of people in stories and a journey to match each of them. This, I'm finding, is a slow and tough task of changing a thought process. Yet it's so rewarding and opening to begin to view people from this aspect. I have found that it makes it easier to have intentional conversations with people who I am close to when I begin to wonder what journey each person has taken to get them to where they are in their life.
Someday I hope that when I report what I saw on Mulberry St. it can be from the way that Jesus sees those people, as His wonderful creation, each set apart for a specific purpose.
As I've been pondering this "dilemma," it has made me think more and more about how we view people from the outside. I find I immediately put titles on people. In 1 Samuel 16:7 God tells Samuel to look at what God sees and that is not what we see on the outside. So when I started seeing someone who was dressed a certain way, or carries them self in a particularly noticeable manner I began to pray for them and ask that I could see them for more then what was on the outside. That I could begin to think of people in stories and a journey to match each of them. This, I'm finding, is a slow and tough task of changing a thought process. Yet it's so rewarding and opening to begin to view people from this aspect. I have found that it makes it easier to have intentional conversations with people who I am close to when I begin to wonder what journey each person has taken to get them to where they are in their life.
Someday I hope that when I report what I saw on Mulberry St. it can be from the way that Jesus sees those people, as His wonderful creation, each set apart for a specific purpose.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Taking hurt to heart
Each of us through life deals with pain and hurt. These are just part of life. In my most recent battle with dealing with hurt from a family situation made me think.
I began to think about what causes that hurt? Where does all this pain come from? Ultimately all of this comes from the fact that we are human, we are not perfect. But when I really thought it through I realized that early on in life we are taught to hate. I think it starts out healthy, we see injustices and are told to feel passionate about it. We see wrong and are taught what is right. There is nothing wrong with being passionate about fixing injustices and knowing the difference between wrong and right. Those are all part of good character, where we go wrong is turning that into thinking that we are above that. To forgetting that we create injustices. That we still do what is wrong. We are in fact broken and messed up people, all of us are!
So when I thought about this in relation to this recent situation, which all of this could apply to any situation, I realized I had thought that I was above this, that I never cause injustices, that I never do what is wrong. So when I felt hurt by others, I wasn't remembering that I am just the same. That in being hurt and angry by someone else's actions I was putting myself above the situation. So as I usually try to do when I come to my senses I turned my thoughts to how Jesus would have looked at a situation. Jesus spoke to the outcast of society, when did I take the time to speak to the outcast in this problem, I hadn't. Jesus look time out of a busy schedule to care for the children, those innocent from the busyness of life, I hadn't done that. Jesus fed the people not only physically but also spiritually, when was the last time that I spoke words of encouragement to build up and love those who were hungry. Then Jesus took time to explain the deeper meaning of his thoughts to those closest too Him, had I taken the time to truly share my heart to those who were closest to me? No, I had only expressed the top emotions of the situation...the hurt and injustice that I was feeling, I didn't take the time to express my love for the people involved, my desire for the right decisions to be made. There are so many other examples that Jesus offers in these situations that diffuse our feeling of being better then others, being above a situation.
What does it take to immediately look the hurt I'm feeling in the eye, and for no better term, tell it What Would Jesus Do?
I began to think about what causes that hurt? Where does all this pain come from? Ultimately all of this comes from the fact that we are human, we are not perfect. But when I really thought it through I realized that early on in life we are taught to hate. I think it starts out healthy, we see injustices and are told to feel passionate about it. We see wrong and are taught what is right. There is nothing wrong with being passionate about fixing injustices and knowing the difference between wrong and right. Those are all part of good character, where we go wrong is turning that into thinking that we are above that. To forgetting that we create injustices. That we still do what is wrong. We are in fact broken and messed up people, all of us are!
So when I thought about this in relation to this recent situation, which all of this could apply to any situation, I realized I had thought that I was above this, that I never cause injustices, that I never do what is wrong. So when I felt hurt by others, I wasn't remembering that I am just the same. That in being hurt and angry by someone else's actions I was putting myself above the situation. So as I usually try to do when I come to my senses I turned my thoughts to how Jesus would have looked at a situation. Jesus spoke to the outcast of society, when did I take the time to speak to the outcast in this problem, I hadn't. Jesus look time out of a busy schedule to care for the children, those innocent from the busyness of life, I hadn't done that. Jesus fed the people not only physically but also spiritually, when was the last time that I spoke words of encouragement to build up and love those who were hungry. Then Jesus took time to explain the deeper meaning of his thoughts to those closest too Him, had I taken the time to truly share my heart to those who were closest to me? No, I had only expressed the top emotions of the situation...the hurt and injustice that I was feeling, I didn't take the time to express my love for the people involved, my desire for the right decisions to be made. There are so many other examples that Jesus offers in these situations that diffuse our feeling of being better then others, being above a situation.
What does it take to immediately look the hurt I'm feeling in the eye, and for no better term, tell it What Would Jesus Do?
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Summer So Far
Normally I like to blog about the thoughts in my head, but I guess this post can be an exception...about the thoughts in my head and how my summer is going so far.
So a little update. I am working at a camp called Spring Canyon with their outdoor program...I did this last summer. My job title is Guide...which includes numerous tasks, from climbing 14ers to being available to listen and learn from the participants (students). We host mostly military cadets and junior officers leading them on an 8 day adventure including white water rafting, rock climbing, rappelling, a 4 day trek, and sessions from incredible instructors who share about their lives and how to apply Christian leadership to every aspect of life.
As guides leading up to this summer of facilitation we go through various trainings. Through each of these we learn not only the practical skills but also how to apply these activities to facilitating a growing experience in our students.
While on the rocks, learning about trusting your system is a challenge for me, I always have to check and double check my ropes before I will walk out over the edge holding tightly to my rope, then once the tension hits I can let go and feel the freedom the system allows me and then allows me to belay the rappeller down the mountain. In life there are many times that we have systems in place that we doubt, however we doubt those systems because of fear, or maybe past experiences where they have failed us. In this case if my system failed it would be goodbye me, but we do have to learn to rely on those systems in place to keep us safe. When that system is in place and working correctly if I fall I will only look like a goofball but I will be safe. The systems that we have in life are family, church community, friends, etc.
Then we have the trek, a journey following trail with different stops on the way. I feel that this symbolizes life to the fullest. We are truely on a journey, sometimes the trail is smooth and gradual, other times the trail is rocky and steep and we have to take rests more often. Ultimately the trail leads to an end and an experience of a lifetime, in the case of the trek the goal is to peak a 14er. This year on guide trek we were unable to summit, but from a incomplete summit attempt so much can be learned. Failure isn't always a bad thing and on guide trek we got to use this time to bond with the team, telling funny stories, playing games, just enjoying each others company.
Solo time is the pinnacle of any trek, this is 4-5 hours in the wilderness alone with God. This is my favorite time of any trek. This year during this time I go to spend this time looking back at life and seeing where God had brought me from to where he was leading me for the summer. I am continuing to be excited about where the path this summer and from here will lead.
This summer I am surrounded by some amazing people who I am excited to continue to grow with!
So a little update. I am working at a camp called Spring Canyon with their outdoor program...I did this last summer. My job title is Guide...which includes numerous tasks, from climbing 14ers to being available to listen and learn from the participants (students). We host mostly military cadets and junior officers leading them on an 8 day adventure including white water rafting, rock climbing, rappelling, a 4 day trek, and sessions from incredible instructors who share about their lives and how to apply Christian leadership to every aspect of life.
As guides leading up to this summer of facilitation we go through various trainings. Through each of these we learn not only the practical skills but also how to apply these activities to facilitating a growing experience in our students.
While on the rocks, learning about trusting your system is a challenge for me, I always have to check and double check my ropes before I will walk out over the edge holding tightly to my rope, then once the tension hits I can let go and feel the freedom the system allows me and then allows me to belay the rappeller down the mountain. In life there are many times that we have systems in place that we doubt, however we doubt those systems because of fear, or maybe past experiences where they have failed us. In this case if my system failed it would be goodbye me, but we do have to learn to rely on those systems in place to keep us safe. When that system is in place and working correctly if I fall I will only look like a goofball but I will be safe. The systems that we have in life are family, church community, friends, etc.
Then we have the trek, a journey following trail with different stops on the way. I feel that this symbolizes life to the fullest. We are truely on a journey, sometimes the trail is smooth and gradual, other times the trail is rocky and steep and we have to take rests more often. Ultimately the trail leads to an end and an experience of a lifetime, in the case of the trek the goal is to peak a 14er. This year on guide trek we were unable to summit, but from a incomplete summit attempt so much can be learned. Failure isn't always a bad thing and on guide trek we got to use this time to bond with the team, telling funny stories, playing games, just enjoying each others company.
Solo time is the pinnacle of any trek, this is 4-5 hours in the wilderness alone with God. This is my favorite time of any trek. This year during this time I go to spend this time looking back at life and seeing where God had brought me from to where he was leading me for the summer. I am continuing to be excited about where the path this summer and from here will lead.
This summer I am surrounded by some amazing people who I am excited to continue to grow with!
Sunday, May 1, 2011
On a Huge American Victory
On coming home from church tonight, I was informed by my Grandma that Osama Bin Laden, a man known to the US as very evil, was dead. In the midst of this I was felt very blah, a lack of emotion. The thoughts that went through my head, were; "yay, he's gone," "meh, another victory for our forces." Is it that I trust in our armed forces and their ability to keep us safe, have I been to far removed from the happenings in our world? What is it that causes me to see this great victory for a nation I'm so proud to be a citizen of as just another day in our lives? Or is it the fact that everything is so dramatized? That the minute something "major" happens, it's "big" news. I think that I've become complacent to the emotions drafted by our media, because most of the time the news is over dramatized. It's sad that our world has come to this, that I can watch a tsunami destroy parts of a country, tornadoes tear the south to pieces and a terribly evil man brought to justice and yet feel nothing, because the media in our country is so blown out of proportion that when it's something truely big I just want to turn a deaf ear and walk away. So to the media, could we get the facts and determine our emotional response based on the facts verse the emotions that you try and build up in our minds. So that when I hear of something tragic or amazing, I can feel the emotion I'm supposed to feel and not feel this numbness put up as a defense to the show that our media has become.
So in response to Osama Bin Laden being brought to justice. God bless our troops, who put their lives on the line in selfless ways on a daily basis, and God bless America! Let's not forget the God this country serves and the foundations it was built on.
So in response to Osama Bin Laden being brought to justice. God bless our troops, who put their lives on the line in selfless ways on a daily basis, and God bless America! Let's not forget the God this country serves and the foundations it was built on.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
All in all
The saying “You are my All in all” is a saying that I want to resound in my walk with God. During some rough spells in my life this kept coming back to me. I guess it is easy for God to be my All in all when I am down and lost, but what does that look like when I’m on the “easy” road of life and things are going fairly well?
In the song You are my All in all, the lyrics that stick out to me are “You are the treasure that I seek,” this lyric makes me think that this song is not just for when we’re down. When at my lowest times I’m not seeking treasure, necessarily. For God to be my All in all , I need Him to be everything all the time. That is hard for me as human being with a strong will to comprehend. I want to only give Him some control. Well He wants it all, so that He can be my All. It’s a moment of complete surrender. I marvel though at the fact that when things aren’t working out my way, that’s when I want Jesus to be everything. When the tide turns and I start thinking it’s because of me and not because of Jesus, that’s when I take back the control and He’s not my All. I need a daily reminder that Jesus is my All in all.
In the song You are my All in all, the lyrics that stick out to me are “You are the treasure that I seek,” this lyric makes me think that this song is not just for when we’re down. When at my lowest times I’m not seeking treasure, necessarily. For God to be my All in all , I need Him to be everything all the time. That is hard for me as human being with a strong will to comprehend. I want to only give Him some control. Well He wants it all, so that He can be my All. It’s a moment of complete surrender. I marvel though at the fact that when things aren’t working out my way, that’s when I want Jesus to be everything. When the tide turns and I start thinking it’s because of me and not because of Jesus, that’s when I take back the control and He’s not my All. I need a daily reminder that Jesus is my All in all.
I wish/ I am
This is a fairly old post from facebook, April 30, 2007
Do I really know myself?
Who am I?
How do others see me?
I wish I knew the answers to the questions in my head.
I feel like I am shallow, as if I only come to the surface.
But… really who am I?
I wish I knew!
I feel like I know myself, but… then is that just a cover.
I want to discover the real me.
Am I bouncy, hyper, energetic or… is that just to get attention?
I tell others I am transparent…but…I really am opaque.
I have two surfaces, one is open and see-through, the other is hidden… so hidden… I don’t even know it.
I wish I knew myself.
I wish I knew me inside out.
I’m not tough, no! …just tough-skinned.
I’m not unemotional… I’m just de-emotionalized.
I may never be beautiful in human eyes but… so what, who cares… GOD sees a beautiful me no one else does.
I flirt with the boys to get attention and then they run and hide.
I go to the gym to run and hide from my problems but they are still there when I come out.
I feel like my life is an online profile, where I only post what I want others to know about me.
I wish I could be real!
I don’t trust people.
I try to avoid emotion.
I am the chair that gets tripped over in the dark.
I am just standing waiting to be tripped on.
I am a leader because I don’t want to get left behind.
I am outgoing because otherwise I am invisible.
I am busy because otherwise I am consumed with worry, frustration and fear.
Fear of being alone.
Frustration with not measuring up.
I try to conform.
I want to be perfect to everyone.
I tease but don’t always like to be teased back.
I am something I don’t want to be.
I feel as if I annoy everybody and then they annoy me.
Why do I feel this way?
I am incomplete in Christ.
GOD sees me deep inside beyond this crap.
I wanna see myself.
I want to discover what’s under this cover.
I want to read the story that is inside of me.
Do I really know myself?
Who am I?
How do others see me?
I wish I knew the answers to the questions in my head.
I feel like I am shallow, as if I only come to the surface.
But… really who am I?
I wish I knew!
I feel like I know myself, but… then is that just a cover.
I want to discover the real me.
Am I bouncy, hyper, energetic or… is that just to get attention?
I tell others I am transparent…but…I really am opaque.
I have two surfaces, one is open and see-through, the other is hidden… so hidden… I don’t even know it.
I wish I knew myself.
I wish I knew me inside out.
I’m not tough, no! …just tough-skinned.
I’m not unemotional… I’m just de-emotionalized.
I may never be beautiful in human eyes but… so what, who cares… GOD sees a beautiful me no one else does.
I flirt with the boys to get attention and then they run and hide.
I go to the gym to run and hide from my problems but they are still there when I come out.
I feel like my life is an online profile, where I only post what I want others to know about me.
I wish I could be real!
I don’t trust people.
I try to avoid emotion.
I am the chair that gets tripped over in the dark.
I am just standing waiting to be tripped on.
I am a leader because I don’t want to get left behind.
I am outgoing because otherwise I am invisible.
I am busy because otherwise I am consumed with worry, frustration and fear.
Fear of being alone.
Frustration with not measuring up.
I try to conform.
I want to be perfect to everyone.
I tease but don’t always like to be teased back.
I am something I don’t want to be.
I feel as if I annoy everybody and then they annoy me.
Why do I feel this way?
I am incomplete in Christ.
GOD sees me deep inside beyond this crap.
I wanna see myself.
I want to discover what’s under this cover.
I want to read the story that is inside of me.
Freedom in Grace
This is a post from my facebook December 15, 2010
About 9 years ago two boys left my family, they went back to live with their mom. I loved those two little (then) guys! To this day I still love them and am blessed to see them when I get the chance. When they left my family, I was crushed, mad at God, at their mom, at life, at the justice system at everything I thought that went wrong and the injustice that was served. Throughout life I had struggled with anger (blamed mainly on my red hair) from a strong personality. When the boys left the family that anger turned to bitterness and hate. I hated the people who had taken those I loved from my life. I struggled with this for years. I would take my anger out on my siblings, those around me who I loved and trusted suffered. I built up walls to block out those who could be lovable and who did love me dearly, they all still chose to love me, by the grace of God. About a year after they left, I entrusted them to God ( i know this sounds silly, but in my 13yr old brain I couldn't release them to Him). Not too long after I gave God that burden, my little sister (now) came into my family. She was and still is a bundle of joy. My willingness to surrender the boys allowed me to love again. I was able to love and accept this little sister, and to this day she is my favorite sibling (only by a little) :). The fight was not over, I still took anger and bitterness out on my poor brother, I am not proud of how I treated him, but he's my second favorite sibling now (again only by a little). This bitterness I clung to until my senior year of high school, the summer after, I began to understand what grace was and how it was freeing. I fought with my parents throughout that summer, mainly my mom, trying to earn her love. I didn't need to, she loved me (one of the most gracious and loving people) despite me trying to give her a reason. To an extent, I wanted her to not love me so that I could earn her love (I know this sounds weird, but hey). One day she took me aside and explained that no matter, and knowing my mom, no matter what I did she was going to love me unconditionally. It was then that I understood, how to be loved and how to love completely. I knew that to a greater extent that was how Christ loves us. That was what grace was. That God could send His Son to redeem a broken and lost people, trying with all their might to earn His love. I knew then that all of the bitterness that I held, needed to given into God's hands for it to thrown as far as the east is from the west. God did that for me and I found freedom. I still have moments of anger, I'm human, but I can release that into His hands and allow him to take it. I knew how to love, granted sometimes I struggle loving people! :) And I began to learn how to be loved. I am only explaining this to say that His grace is enough because today when I heard the news that those two precious boys had been in a car wreck with their mom, I found peace in that grace. I was angry for a moment... as anyone should in that situation, but then trusted that He was in the midst of the situation. As family members and friends struggled with emotions of anger, fear and worry, I looked to the Savior for Grace to cover me. God is in there right now watching over them and taking care of them. If I had not been shown what grace really was, today would have been a heck of a lot harder! I guess this is kind of rambling but it's what was laid on my heart in today and I thought I would share!
<3 jojo
The Pain of Independence
Independence, some might call this freedom, or separation from others. What we call independence, or even self reliance, can be taken to the extreme. As I am realizing more about myself, I am understanding that my desire for independence is driven out of pride. Not wanting to rely on other people is out of fear that others will think that I'm not strong enough to do life on my own. Since I was a little girl, I wanted to do things on my own... I even told my parent's what they would call me. I, however am beginning to understand that this has been cultivated because of pride.
I call this the pain of independence, because of the pain I allow myself to endure because I won't let others help me. For example while hiking with friends this spring, I injured my ankle pretty bad, due to my pride and desire to be "strong enough" I wouldn't allow my friends to help me (they forced help upon me...for which I am incredibly thankful). Had I just swallowed my pride and recognized my need for others in my life, the physical pain would have been less. Another example of this pain of independence, is my birthday, every year comes and goes and I fight the urge to tell people it's my birthday. I do this because, I don't want others to feel burdened by a day in my life. However, most people enjoy the chance to celebrate a joyous occasion with others! When I don't share, I then feel lonely on that special day because I have, isolated myself from others therefore isolating myself from the joy of sharing a birthday celebration with friends.
So this independence, which can be an incredible attribute, when mixed with pride is painful. It not only can hurt emotionally, but also physically. Along with those consequences, the pain is not just endured in oneself. When sharing life fully with other people, the experiences are multiplied, yes friends might share pain, but ultimately friends can share in joy and the good things in life even more.
What does it take to overcome this pride that separates me from the ones who just want to be a part of my life? It takes humility! Humility and independence do go hand-in-hand but in a much different capacity. Instead of being withdrawn from life, a healthy independent person is available to help and assist those in need. This need could look like being there for someone who needs a shoulder to cry on or even to receive advice from someone to build up and encourage them. Transferring pride to humility is not a fun process, but in the end is more freeing then independence in combination with pride.
I call this the pain of independence, because of the pain I allow myself to endure because I won't let others help me. For example while hiking with friends this spring, I injured my ankle pretty bad, due to my pride and desire to be "strong enough" I wouldn't allow my friends to help me (they forced help upon me...for which I am incredibly thankful). Had I just swallowed my pride and recognized my need for others in my life, the physical pain would have been less. Another example of this pain of independence, is my birthday, every year comes and goes and I fight the urge to tell people it's my birthday. I do this because, I don't want others to feel burdened by a day in my life. However, most people enjoy the chance to celebrate a joyous occasion with others! When I don't share, I then feel lonely on that special day because I have, isolated myself from others therefore isolating myself from the joy of sharing a birthday celebration with friends.
So this independence, which can be an incredible attribute, when mixed with pride is painful. It not only can hurt emotionally, but also physically. Along with those consequences, the pain is not just endured in oneself. When sharing life fully with other people, the experiences are multiplied, yes friends might share pain, but ultimately friends can share in joy and the good things in life even more.
What does it take to overcome this pride that separates me from the ones who just want to be a part of my life? It takes humility! Humility and independence do go hand-in-hand but in a much different capacity. Instead of being withdrawn from life, a healthy independent person is available to help and assist those in need. This need could look like being there for someone who needs a shoulder to cry on or even to receive advice from someone to build up and encourage them. Transferring pride to humility is not a fun process, but in the end is more freeing then independence in combination with pride.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)